Friday, August 18, 2017

WHERE MY STORIES "GO"

Sometimes I convey myself and my life by telling stories of things that I have experienced in my life. Such stories seem rather compelling in the moment. But a number of realizations and further directions occur after I tell the stories:
  1. I realize that I am not simply a series of stories about myself in my life.
  2. The stories lead to a context that is larger than myself or my life, or to a place of all stories in all lives. In other words, I go both bigger and more inclusive, and deeper within myself to a place more of "human existence" than of "personal being" (though the latter is still there).
  3. Once I tell the story, it is as though it has been "published" or is now a "major motion picture" and is other out of my hands and something about me which has now been externalized and is no longer very "personal" to me. In telling such stories, I seem to "lose" a bit of myself. 

We tell our stories about ourselves, believing that they are ourselves, that they are what "makes us up" to be as we are. I think we tell them so that we might be "heard," and thus have more proof to ourselves that we do in fact exist and have our own lives. Some of us may tell our stories to others but I think we all tell our stories to ourselves; we just have to know that we are somehow real. I don't think that to tell our stories is narcissitic or self-centered, but, rather, human. Why did we once make paintings of bison in caves? Why do we "pass down our histories"? Perhaps that is the only thing we can really "leave" of ourselves to others. Like "do this in remembrance of me."

So, of late, I have conveyed a few stories, perhaps also to demonstrate what I see as philosophical points or simply observations of what it is to be human. We use our own lives as examples of this or of that, of wisdom or of folly, of success or failure, of pride or of regret. And we are the authorities on our own stories, our own experiences, even if our reading of ourselves is purely subjective. If I can show people how I feel about something, they might very well be able to feel it too. So, our story-telling can make us more human and bring us together if we speak from what we call our hearts. What I'm trying to say is that telling our stories has the potential to bring us close to each other. And why would we want to be "close to each other"? Because that's actually who we are and why we are here; that is the natural outcome of ourselve if we were free enough to actually be ourselves.

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