WHY METAPHYSICS? WHAT IS THE KEY?

"Why metaphysics?" is something one who purports to write about it or even be interested in it must ask perpetually. For it is a question without boundaries, a seemingly infinite question, like "What is God?" Since I was a child, I have wondered about and have sought the "greater context" in which I exist, in which we all exist. I began asking, "What am I doing here?", "What is my purpose?", and then to the core, "What am I?", "Who am I?". I have always wanted to understand, wanted to know. I have always wanted to "have faith" as well, but not blind faith; I wanted something based in the knowledge of my own soul and my own experience so that I might have my own foundation for any faith that I possessed. Most people, it seems, are not drawn to understanding this metaphysical realm, as it were. They tend to be satisfied and also challenged enough in the living of their lives, in simply surviving, which in itself, can be an overwhelming task. I have, in my life, been quite absorbed by the responsibilities of survival in society, but this metaphysical quest has still been at the forefront of my mind. It may be that it is a quest that is like the carrot hung in front of the donkey's eyes to keep it moving forward. People follow God and "enlightenment" steadily, or the ability to "be in the moment." We humans seek direction for ourselves, seek our place in the universe or in heaven. We do not like being or even feeling "lost"; we want to at least have an understanding of "where we are," of our purpose in life. It may be that certain life experiences and revelations bring us to having such an interest in the "transcendent," or it may be that this interest was already within us when we were born, or both. I came into this life remembering previous lives and in this one had experiences with "ghosts" of the dead and other beings more malevolent, beginning at an early age. Such experiences of different "realms of being," even if frightening, pique a child's interest, and if there is a threat to others, cause one to want to have mastery over them. I initially sought meditation to be able to "rise above the astral" level on which such "earthbound spirits," as they are called, abide, and to send them on their way, as it were. I protected the children who were in my care and who were being affected by them. Consequently, my interest in metaphysics has a definitely practical and pragmatic side to it. Most of these "metaphysical adventures" occurred almost fifty years ago. I have studied and meditated in many different disciplines (Catholic, Zen Buddhist, Hindu, Theosophical) and for long periods. More importantly, I have been and am caregiver to people with disabilities for many years. I say that this is "more important" because it actually requires that your life focuses upon another rather than yourself. I have found that the most vital element of any "metaphysical quest" is the "opening of one's heart" through deep love of others. This goes far deeper than any intellectual or mental understanding. In reality, there is no comparison. I don't know if love destroys the self, the ego, as such, but it greatly diminishes the kind of self-centeredness that is narcissistic, that is, unable to recognize and love others. In the metaphysical quest, one must develop one's heart, one's ability to love others, more than anything else. In my estimation, this is the key to discovering the metaphysical "heart of all life."